Quick look at the days News

Gordon Brown still refuses to quit after further calls from his own ministers. Some would say this was cowardly, Gonzo concurs.

The EP results are in and the tory's have won over all with the SNP taking the popular vote in scotland but thanks to a poorly crafted political system this means they are only rewarded withe the same number of seats as Labour, who came second. Also BNP managed to secure two seats in England. To be fair until Sunrise has chucked in his two cents about the whole thing i will probably remain quite apathetic to the whole thing.

Real IRA leader Michael McKevitt and three other men were ruled as being responsible for the Omagh bombing in 1998 a landmark case has ruled today. Mr Justice Morgan made the ruling at the High Court in Belfast after a landmark civil case brought by some of the families of the victims of the atrocity.
The 12 relatives were awarded more than £1.6m in damages for the attack. Many claim the families are just trying to make money off their dead. The people who belive this though are known by highly recomended sources to be tossers of the highest order who cant accept that there are some people in the world capable of human feelings towards their fellow man.

More fear mongering in the form of swine flu arrived today in the scottish news, but to be honest who actually has a clue what the deal with swine flu is. Maybe we need a health correspondent.

The most boring show on television with the most punchable man in britain concluded last night when Sir Allan Shuga babez appointed Yasmina Siadatan to be his new apprentice. However what will that entail now that the Big A to the S has become a government lacky? Gonzo is skeptical and hopes that she was at least given a nice cake for managing not to kick big Al in the nads.

David Blunkett (former tosser) has been injured by a cow in Derybyshire. The incident happened on Saturday while the Sheffield MP was out walking on his 62nd birthday with his guide dog Sadie in the Peak District.

It is believed the cow ran at the dog and while trying to protect her, the ex home secetary fell and was trampled.
He suffered a broken rib and "painful bruising" but was declared well enough to attend a Labour Party meeting later.
Mr Blunkett said the incident gave him in new insight into Labour's problems. Yea well being face down, blind in a pile of cow shit is a pretty stunning metaphor for labour in my mind.

Apple has updated its successful iPhone and introduced price cuts for older models at its developers conference. The move stunned the world of Gadget freaks as now less well of people will also be as baffled and confused by the ridiculously overprogrammed machine.

And finnaly The E3 confrence for Video games has reveled a host of new ways for all of us to waste vast ammounts of our time. Someone is going to write that up i hear.